So….recently, Channel Mum have had a campaign/ movement about Mums being lonely. #YANA ~ You Are Not Alone. 9 out of 10 Mums admitted they felt lonely in a recent survey
I remember when I was pregnant I had lots of people fussing around me, all as excited as I was for Daniels arrival after the journey of IVF. Once Daniel was here safe and well, and everyone had met him the buzz died down. I didn’t quite realise at the time as I was in my own little bubble and I didn’t prioritise anyone other than Daniel.
During the week I would keep myself busy with baby groups. We had ‘Baby Blooms’ on a Monday afternoon which was our favourite for a long while. Tuesday I would meet up with a work colleague and we’d go to a play group at the local community centre with her granddaughter. Wednesdays were free days with the weigh clinic every few weeks. Thursdays as Daniel got older, I would take part to in the free group at our local soft play centre and he loved it, we’d be in there for hours. Friday mornings were filled with rhyme time at the library followed by an afternoon at another play group. This group had tea and cake and lots of it. This group is where I met my little group of ‘Mum Friends’
During the week I kept us busy. In wind and rain I’d walk proudly with my baby in his pram and walk to our playgroups. I’d often then walk to the local shopping centre and pick up any bits we needed, and he’d sleep.
It was the weekends where I felt lonely (lacking adult conversation) Hubby was working 7 days a week. Cramming in overtime. My new mum friends were busy with their families. It was just me and Daniel. I would rarely hear from friends or family. Not just at the weekends, I’d go days without hearing from some.
Yes. Friends had their own lives. I had friends who had babies just after me, and they became distant. Not through lack of trying….babies at different ages, different groups, different routines with their families. 1 friend in a different city. 1 friend going through a f***ing hard time, and I always made sure she knew I was there for her.
We feel lonely because our lives before babies are the past. Friendships grow, change, or fall apart. And as new Mums you think it’s your fault. You wonder why they are being selfish and not wanting to spend time with you or know how many times your baby pooped today. But what we don’t realise at the time is that whilst we have been in our newborn bubble, their lives are changing too.
So because of this, remember everyones lives are changing every day. Remember to smile and say hi to the Mums you meet at weigh clinics, or play groups. And if you recognise them at the shops they aren’t going to bite, but you may just make a new friend or save a Mum from insanity! Text your friends and ask what’s new, what’s the gossip. Tell them to come for a brew and an hour of adult conversation.
Im extremely lucky to have met my ‘Blooms Mums’. My boy and I have 4 extremely good friends, that good they’ll stay up until 1am helping you sew a teepee together, or bake a cake. They are always at the end of the phone or on the Whatsapp group at stupid o’clock. And for that…..Blooms Mums I love you!! You Are Not Alone Cx.